OK, so we love Texas. It's awesome. There are two things I'm not particularly fond of... 1. being far from family. 2. the bugs.
Texas bugs are INSANE. Huge. Creepy. Crawling. Make your skin crawl. and EVERYWHERE. And there must be steroids in the soil here because they are HUGE.
For example. Here is a baby cricket. Baby. This one is about 1 1/2 inches long. They have the LONGEST legs I have ever seen, pink googly eyes, and antennas that could reach Utah I swear.
For example. Here is a baby cricket. Baby. This one is about 1 1/2 inches long. They have the LONGEST legs I have ever seen, pink googly eyes, and antennas that could reach Utah I swear.This picture is so disappointing because it does NOT represent the true grossness of these bugs and their ginormous size.
Let me tell you a story...
Night before last, I was having a dream about these said bugs. A Gecko jumped out of the pantry at me and it scared me so bad it woke me up. Understandably shaken, I couldn't go back to sleep. As I lay there I can hear a cricket.... SO LOUD... echoing. Great, there is a cricket in our house. So, I get up and go on the prowl. After much circling trying to find where this annoying cricket is calling from, I open the door to find a 3 inch long cricket attached to our screen door! I threw up in my mouth a little.
I run into our bedroom, and wake Hayden. It's 2am. He's thrilled as all get out with me. I tell him about the cricket and he replies "honey, just get it, they aren't that scary!" I beg him, he drags himself out of bed and follows me.
He takes my flip flop, steps outside and swats the LARGE AND IN CHARGE cricket of the door. I tell him to smash it because I don't want that thing alive. So, as he bends down to swat it...
the cricket jumps....
I have never in my life seen a grown man do such a squirmy, scared, jumping all around dance of fear in all my life. And the scream that accompanied this fear dance would put any little girl to shame. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
We laid in bed and laughed about this for over 30 minutes.
This is the conclusion we came to:
Let me tell you a story...
Night before last, I was having a dream about these said bugs. A Gecko jumped out of the pantry at me and it scared me so bad it woke me up. Understandably shaken, I couldn't go back to sleep. As I lay there I can hear a cricket.... SO LOUD... echoing. Great, there is a cricket in our house. So, I get up and go on the prowl. After much circling trying to find where this annoying cricket is calling from, I open the door to find a 3 inch long cricket attached to our screen door! I threw up in my mouth a little.
I run into our bedroom, and wake Hayden. It's 2am. He's thrilled as all get out with me. I tell him about the cricket and he replies "honey, just get it, they aren't that scary!" I beg him, he drags himself out of bed and follows me.
He takes my flip flop, steps outside and swats the LARGE AND IN CHARGE cricket of the door. I tell him to smash it because I don't want that thing alive. So, as he bends down to swat it...
the cricket jumps....
I have never in my life seen a grown man do such a squirmy, scared, jumping all around dance of fear in all my life. And the scream that accompanied this fear dance would put any little girl to shame. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
We laid in bed and laughed about this for over 30 minutes.
This is the conclusion we came to:
Main Entry: 1pan·sy
Pronunciation: \ˈpan-zē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural pansies
Etymology: Middle English pancy, pensee, from Middle French pensée, from pensée thought, from feminine of pensé, past participle of penser to think, from Latin pensare to ponder — more at pensive
Date: 15th century
Pronunciation: \ˈpan-zē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural pansies
Etymology: Middle English pancy, pensee, from Middle French pensée, from pensée thought, from feminine of pensé, past participle of penser to think, from Latin pensare to ponder — more at pensive
Date: 15th century
1 : a garden plant (Viola wittrockiana) derived chiefly from the hybridization of the European Johnny-jump-up (Viola tricolor) with other wild violets; also : its flower
2 a usually disparaging : a weak or effeminate man or boy or b Hayden Behling
7 comments:
In my defense, that picture does NOT do that thing justice. I could have bit my arm off...whole.
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Mark is freaked out by spiders, more so than I am. It's OK, Hayden. You still have a big truck to prove your manliness.
OH MY HEAVENS...I'm sitting here alone laughing my GUTS OUT! I can SOOOO picture the entire event. You two are BEYOND entertaining! Hayd, should I be afraid that you're the "protector" of my sweet sister?! Just teasing! Love you both to pieces.
Bugs were my biggest adjustment to Texas. In fact, we actually collected them one summer just to see all the freaky specimens together. I'll admit now, I'm pretty fascinated! Thanks for sharing pictures - I've never seen this variety before.
I wish I could have been there...I mean, that might have been a little awkward since it was 2 a.m. but I literally laughed out loud when I read this. Love it. Oh...bugs freak me out though too. Tell Hayden any grown man would have done the same. HA!
Ew, no.
That picture does it plenty of justice - that thing is NASTY (and spiky, and BLECH!!!!)
Hayden was fully within his rights to freak!
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