A Rainy Day

Well, we are nearing the end of another semester. Why do I keep getting so blue? I can't seem to snap out of the never-ending nagging thought of what's to come in a couple weeks. I try to talk myself down and repeat in my head "it will all be OK." But then I just start to cry! There are so many things I'm going to miss so much! The snuggle at 5:30am when my alarm goes off to wake me up (this process repeats 6-7 times until I finally roll out of bed), the updates of his happenings via email or txt msgs, moments where we laugh at each other until my guts ache, walking in the door to see him yet again on the computer studying the inner workings of a random airplane, the shredder noise when mail comes, the tiffs and spats, the "nuggling" on the couch, I am just going to miss it all. How did this independent- self reliant woman get to a puddle of tears from the thoughts of being left for 5 days a week? I'm telling you, once you have something so good it breaks your heart to see it leave. I'm also sad that his "Study Buddies" won't be gracing us with their presence and will be caught up in their own rotations as well. What good friends and supporters we have met. Friends that have held my "Rain Man's" head when it was just too much to take. Friends that reminded him that his wife has a point. Friends that helped me remember what an immense sacrifice he is making although I would tend to forget and think he was off playing. I'm going to miss it all. Comfort comes when I lean on my Father in Heaven and when I realize that one year from now I will be watching him walk across a stage to receive his degree and when we can inhale really deep and let it all go. I just hope I can make it through. But, after all the complaining and worrying I realize what a huge blessing it is to have a husband so motivated and devoted to his family to finish the hardest thing in his life and not give up. Although he makes it seem like a cake walk to all of us, I know it's been extremely hard on him. How blessed are we to have the gospel to lean on and Father in Heaven that knows us personally. I know it will be his hands we will hold to make it through the next year. And at the end of it all, we will pray with deep gratitude for the blessings we received throughout the year. Keep the faith!