Danzer has filled our hearts beyond belief. He is now 2 1/2 weeks old... and although I can't believe it's been that long already... it also seems like time has been creeping by. We have been trying to fit into the new role as parents and figure out what the heck we are doing! Nursing didn't work out... we had to many issues and after a very stressed baby, daddy, and VERY STRESSED mommy... we decided to go to formula. We thought we had solved all our problems. Our little guy has a very sensitive stomach (he was doomed right from birth because Hayden and I both have terrible tummys!). Formula has been hard on him and throw up has become our new best friend. One night, he yacked so hard it flew out of his bassinet out onto the floor! Watch out is all I have to say! I warn everyone.... I think I need to have stickers made up to stick on his chest saying "WARNING: Projectile vomit... hold at your own risk!" He seems to be getting better though.
Last Wednesday we took him in for his 2 week checkup. He has gained a few ounces and grew an inch! He is growing so fast already. He is opening his eyes a lot more and I love to talk to him as he watches my face. He also got circumcised at his 2 week checkup. It took ALL I had not to gag. SERIOUSLY! Who came up with that? OK, yes, I know it originates from Jewish culture... but who thought of that? What complete torture. He cried only a little and didn't seem to be too bothered by it... but I was seriously disturbed!
For all my mother friends out there... I know you understand the hormones and ups and downs of motherhood. I had to go visit the doc last week as I've been having extreme anxiety attacks at night. I feel like I've gone mental. I know it's not me, and I know it will get better, but I never expected to feel this way. I've always LOVED babies and have been so comfortable with them. But I never imagined how overwhelming and intimidating it can be to have your OWN baby. All I need is a lot of time and a lot of prayer. Thank GOODNESS for our wonderful families... especially our parents for helping us. But I must tell my mother how much I appreciate her. I could not have survived without her! And to my sister... for giving me therapy over the phone... even late at night when she has spent a full day herself in mothering mayhem. I LOVE YOU ALL!
Danzer is the most wonderful little man. He smells like heaven and his little cries, wimpers, noises, and mannerisms just melt my heart. We are SO GRATEFUL to have him and still can't believe this little miracle is ours! All for now- Kelly
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Life as a Mama- Part II
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11 comments:
Oh, seriously, my mascara is running! I'm all choked up over your blog entry. I love you! Motherhood will get easier...I promise. You're doing a wonderful job - whether you know it or not! You are the best mom that Danzer could ask for...that must be the reason he picked you! Call me anytime. Loves always!!
When I had my first baby I thought that I was going to fall apart at the seams. Know that it will get better. Give it time and know that it's ok if you need to take extra naps or cry unexpectedly. You love your baby and he loves you, you will survive anything else.
Good luck!
Oh, you poor dears. New parenthood really is a rude awakening in so many ways. Of course you love the little guy and are so happy to have him, but at the same time, it's like, WHAT THE CRUD! I am so happy that I've been broken in with Madelyn, because that first baby is so hard to figure out. Give yourself another month and you'll all be champs at it. Trust me.
Sorry about the spit up thing. Some kids are just like that. Mine hardly ever spit up, but she did blow out of her diaper several times a day for her first YEAR. So either way, it's a mess! A soak overnight in Oxi-Clean works wonders, though.
Hey...I can totally relate to you, I tried nursing for 2 weeks, it was a disaster and honestly the worst and most stressful two weeks of my entire life. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. I went to formula, I switched Alli to Good Start and it seems to be the easiest on her stomach, I was giving her similac and she was constipated and sick, so we switched.
I remember Alli was also throwing up a lot and we brought her to the emergency room a couple of times, only to be sent home and told that it is totally normal. I am sure that he will get better, it took until she was about 2 months old when her stomach started figuring things out.
I also think that it is so hard that first little bit as a new mom, I attribute most of it to lack of sleep, but once we switched to the bottle, it was much easier because other people can feed the baby and you can rest.
Good luck, I just read your post and all of these memories came back to me. I promise it gets a ton easier with the babies.
He looks like such a sweet baby, I love how you named him Danzer, if we have a girl next, I really want to name her McKell if my husband will allow it.
Oh, Kelly, I am seriously coming to visit this week, you are a wonderful person, and I know a great mom, things will get better I know it seems it won't but with the help of family and friends everything will work out. I love you!!!
You're the best mom Danzer could ever have, that is why he came to your family! Trust me the instincts will come and you've got a great husband, a great mom and a great sister who will always help you!
Don't feel bad that you couldn't nurse, not everyone can. Danzer is very lucky to have you and Hayden both. Enjoy all this time that you have with him and get some rest!!! I would always sleep when Tyce was asleep. I swear I did not get ready for weeks and somedays I was lucky to get a shower. Tyce was circumsized when he was about 6 weeks old (they won't do it in the NICU) and he was so upset, and it was sore for a long time. I was so mad at myself for doing that to him, but now I am so glad that we did it. Good Luck!!!
I am so sad for you right now. Hormones sure can screw you up huh? I still am a walking nut house...But it does get better. I have had postpardum/anxiety with both of my kids and almost feel like it never went away with Tylie. You are doing great. I know it seems like you are a total "failure" because of the nursing thing, I swear that husbands think it is totally natural too, but let's be honest...Nursing sucks. It is hard, hurts like @#$%, and some babies have a hard time learning. I had a hard time remembering that we were "both" learning. I must say that Slade was better at it then Tylie. My milk dried up with Tylie because she hated nursing. I almost wish that I wouldn't of wasted so much time on it with her. I am so proud of you Kell. Don't get down on yourself about any of the motherhood stuff. I know it feels like you have to follow the book...But the beauty of being the mom is YOU are the boss and if Danzer is growing and happy then that is all that matters! Keep up the good work and call if you want to talk and Kristin isn't home! Love you!
Hi Kelly,
I totally understand what you are going through. I remember those days...it seemed like nothing and everything would set me off. Be assured that as time comes and goes..things will get better. I also can relate to the circumcision thing...I watched as my grandson was done..and I wanted to die. I went back into the room that Kristen(the mom) was in...and she wondered what was wrong...I think I must have looked like a ghost. I couldn't believe that we actually put our little baby boys through such a thing. I know why..but WHY!!!! It seemed so cruel. They seem to recover quickly but I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THE TRAUMA THAT I FELT THAT DAY!
Can't wait to see you back in primary!
Love
Jill
Oh, Kell, I think every single mama can relate to at least some of your words. So in love and yet so emotionally drained. So wanting to be everything to your little one and yet so needing help in those first weeks.
I am SO glad that you have a great support system but if you ever want to chat--know that I would love to. Love you, Jenny
Kelly my whole entire family has the tummy thing. Rylee was so bad we had to see a specialist weekly for her stomach (she had problems with her large intestine). So I completely understand the throw up issues. Don't worry it does get easier, just remember to take lots of pictures because they seem to grow up so fast.
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